Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda
by katmom
Summary: Edward has his reasons for leaving after the birthday incident. He expects the family to start packing, but Alice stands up to him and says: NO...AU set in the New Moon time frame. Written for the Fics4Nashville Project.
1. Chapter 1

**Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda**

AU set in the New Moon time frame. Edward has his reasons for leaving after the birthday incident.

He expects the family to start packing, but Alice stands up to him and says: NO.

I submitted this for the Fics4Nashville Flood Relief Program.

**Stephenie Meyer** owns these characters. I'm just moving them in a different direction.

Thanks to Hippogriff-Tamer, u2shay, Leelan Oleander, LJ Summers, kejce and AMayes for being my pre-readers!

Yes, I needed them all and they were lots of help.

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**~Chapter One~**

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Edward was surprised to see the house lit up when he approached it in the early evening gloom. He had left Bella, and his heart, hours before in the woods behind her home. It had only taken him moments to forge a note for Charlie informing him of her whereabouts and to take and hide the evidence of his reality under her floorboards. Taking the items with him would have been the prudent choice, but he just couldn't totally remove himself from her life. Just another lie to heap upon the many that he told her in the woods.

He had then driven for miles down the coast and back, trying to come to terms with what he had just done. It was for the best he kept repeating over and over. A small part of his mind wondered why he was trying to convince himself of the rightness of his decision.

Edward had been over and over her reactions as he drove back to his home. He was shocked at how readily she had accepted the lies. Surely that's what he wanted? He should have been happy that she seemed to believe him when he said he no longer wanted her. Her tears were branded in his memory. He deserved to be whipped by the pain he saw etched on her face.

As he stepped out of his car, his mind was filled with the mental voices of his family coming from inside the brightly lit structure.

_All of his family... _

He had thought that Alice and Jasper were deep in Canada somewhere, regrouping after the incident at Bella's party. And surely Esme would have finished with the packing and she and Carlisle should have been well on their way to Alaska.

Even though he knew they were all there waiting, he couldn't get a fix on their thoughts. Nearly all of them were blocking him with inane mental chatter of fashion, medical journals, recipes, the Civil War…and sex. Only Rosalie's thoughts were loud and clear: _You are an idiot_.

That wasn't different than any of her thoughts from the moment he had met Bella. But the tenor was somehow different now. She was calling him a moron, and worse, for reasons that were unclear.

As he stepped into the foyer, he was surprised to find that the boxes that had been stacked when he left, ready for the shipping company, were gone. The furniture was no longer covered with dust sheets and the house looked like it always did, lived in and welcoming.

The family was all sitting in their favorite places: Esme and Carlisle on the loveseat with his arm around her shoulders, Rosalie on the couch with Emmett on the floor before her, Jasper in the overstuffed chair with Alice tucked close on his lap.

"Jasper, Alice, I thought you were still running somewhere?" A wealth of anger and implication was in Edward's voice as he addressed his siblings. Jasper's thoughts were still blocked, but Edward heard the guilt and shame in them.

No one spoke as Alice got to her feet. When Jasper went to rise with her, she motioned him back to his seat. He sat back, but Edward could see that he was poised to come to her aid at a moment's notice.

Edward narrowed his eyes. "What's going on? I thought it was decided that we would be moving on." He still couldn't get a clear reading on anyone's thoughts.

"No, Edward, _you_ decided that we would be moving away. But, as I told the family, that isn't the best thing in this situation." Alice wasn't a very tall person, but the energy crackling around her at this moment made her appearance commanding.

"I know that Esme and Carlisle were willing to move on, for you, even though their hearts were breaking at the thought of leaving their daughter. And Rosalie, even though she didn't like the idea of moving so soon, was willing to do so to keep our secret." Alice paused and looked at each member of the family. They nodded to her and she turned back to pin Edward with her golden eyes.

"The decision to stay is based on visions that I saw earlier today. I've shared them with our family and they agree: we cannot leave Bella now." Alice squared her shoulders, obviously waiting for the verbal attack she had seen headed her way.

"NO! We have to leave, to keep Bella safe. We've been living a lie, thinking that she could be a part of our family. She's human, her memories will fade and she'll live the life she was always supposed to live without us in it, drawing danger to her." Edward's voice rang out through the quiet room. Looking at Alice, he pointed a finger at Jasper. "Did you forget what your husband nearly did to your best friend?"

Once again Jasper started to rise but Alice's raised hand stopped him.

"Edward, Jasper lost his focus for just a moment when Bella cut her finger on the paper. Emmett and I would have stopped him before he got another step closer to her. But you overreacted. _You_ are the one that knocked her out of the way, and into the table and the stemware, causing the gash in her arm that needed stitches." By now Alice had her finger in the middle of Edward's chest and she was poking it into the expanse as she made her points. A wince crossed his face at the force of her touch.

"Part of the problem is that you have been worried about Jasper's control since you met Bella. If you had let him get closer to her, his control would have built up. But, no, you always have to have the last word. Well, that stops now." Alice spun away from Edward and stood next to Jasper's chair. She reached down and took his hand in hers, smiling into his eyes. "Jasper is sorry and he's dedicated himself to getting control around my best friend. Bella told me to pass on to him that she forgave him and that she wouldn't hold it against him. Edward, you need to let it go too. You need to believe in Bella, in Jasper…and in yourself."

Edward was already shaking his head in denial. "Bella doesn't know just how dangerous we are."

Before he could continue, Rosalie had leapt to her feet and was standing in front of him. "Edward, don't you think she got a clue when James was throwing her around like a rag doll? When he bit her and started pumping venom into her wrist?" She scoffed and her finger also rapped him hard on the chest. "That's what you never saw clearly. She knows what we are. She knows what an emo, brooding person you are and she loves you anyway."

Edward's mouth hung open as he heard Rosalie, of all people, defending Bella's love for him. "Rose, I thought that you, out of everyone here, would understand why we have to leave."

Rose spun back to the couch and sat gracefully down behind Emmett. He reached over his shoulder and held her hand, kissing it gently. After smiling at her husband, Rosalie looked up at Edward. "Bella has proven herself to me. She never even hinted at our secret to anyone else. She put up with you and your stupid rules and inhibitions, and she made you happy. Never thought I'd see that. Your mood, for the most part, has been a wonderful change of pace around the house. I'm not ready to move again and if we have to have Bella around so that we can stay, so be it."

Alice stepped forward again. "I know you decided that our leaving was for the best, but you are wrong. You think that Bella will just forget about us and live a human life, finding love again at some point. You were going to tell me not to look into her future, but I saw that vision while Jasper and I were gone. The visions are what brought us back here, now. She is not going to be able to move on. She is not going to find happiness. The next several months are going to be pure torture for her." Edward's eyes closed as Alice made her points. "Edward, you don't see yourself clearly, Bella, even as a human, does. And it's you she wants, not some pale human existence."

"No, she can't make that choice. She doesn't know…" Edward started to defend his position.

"So, you get to make the choice for her, Edward? Without her input? Why, Edward? What makes you the last word on what's right? It's not fair to Esme and Carlisle to make them leave their daughter. It's not fair to Emmett to make him leave his little sister. It's not right to make me leave my best friend. And it's most definitely not right for you to walk away from your mate." Alice was once more in front of him, glaring into his eyes. The look of agony on his face caused her to soften her words. "If she doesn't know all the facts, then tell her all about us, all of it. Let her make an informed decision. Right now she loves you and that's enough for her. You need to grow up, old man, and accept it. She. Loves. You."

Carlisle stood up. He didn't approach Edward as he looked intently at him. "Son, I know that part of your fear is that you think so badly of yourself. We've had the discussions about our souls. You won't let me convince you that we have them. The way you love Bella should cement the fact in your mind that we do."

Edward was shaking his head in denial but before he could say anything Emmett stood beside Carlisle, his large arm wrapped around his maker.

"Edward, look at Carlisle. Can you really tell me that you think he has no soul? How many lives has he saved, first by not giving into his nature and second by using his remarkable skills as a vampire to become a better doctor?" Emmett squeezed Carlisle's shoulders before stepping closer to where Edward stood. "Look at Esme; she loves each of us like we were her own flesh and blood…or venom. She only wants the best for us, all of us, all of the time."

He pointed at Alice and Jasper. "Yeah, the Pixie annoys us, with all the shopping and her tornadic personality, but is she evil? Is she bad? Does she really have no soul? She's your sister in every way that matters." Taking a deep, unnecessary breath Emmett pointed at himself. "Do you really think that I'm without a soul? I love you all, my brothers, my sisters…and that includes Bella, and my parents. I love Rosalie more than I ever thought I could love anyone. She's my everything. Surely the fact that we _can_ love proves that we have souls."

"Most of us have killed people. A few of us have killed lots of people. I've killed dozens of humans. That makes me a monster in my book," Edward exclaimed. He looked tortured as he thought back over the people that he had drained in his rebellious years.

"Dude, you feel badly about that, don't you? Even though the very nature of what you are pushes you to do that. You gave in…then. But now you feel remorse and guilt and you fight against the urge daily. Those are human feelings. You sincerely feel badly that you did that, don't you?"

"Yes, but…" Edward tried again to heap more blame upon himself but Emmett stopped him before he could get more than a couple of words out.

"No, that's all of it. Yes, you killed, but you feel regret and you've tried to atone for your wrongdoings. Only creatures with souls would do that."

"But what about those vampires that DON'T feel badly for their actions? There are so few of us that even try to live without killing humans. We have souls, and they don't?" Edward was throwing more logic at Emmett, trying to get him to back down from his stance.

"We all know that we can live, and live well, on animal blood. It's not like we _have_ to live off of humans. I think those that don't try to live by the Good Book are going to have to face up to their actions. Just because we are at the top of the food chain, it doesn't mean that this is all there is. When I die that final death, tomorrow or eons from now, I believe that I will have to face judgment for the way I've lived my life, _both_ of my lives. Carlisle and I have discussed this at length. And we both believe it."

Edward was trying to form a retort when a gasp left Alice's lips as her eyes glazed over. The fury in her face as she looked up at Edward made him take a large step back and away from her. Jasper was at her side, supporting her with his hands on her shoulders as she stared angrily up at Edward.

"What do you see, Alice?" Jasper asked as he tenderly held her small form.

"You left Bella in the woods? Alone?" Alice looked at Emmett. "Get a blanket; we need to get to her." Jasper started toward the door with her, but she put a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, but she's scraped her hands and knees in several places, there's a bit of blood. Given time you will be able to handle her blood, but not yet. She was trying to follow our brother when he left her. She's off the trail and much deeper in the woods than she ought to be. And it's really starting to rain hard."

Esme gasped and began sobbing into her hands as she thought about her daughter lost and alone in the woods. Carlisle held her close, trying to comfort her. "Should I come too, Alice? Is she hurt badly?"

Another glazed look crossed Alice's face. "No, she's only scraped, cold and wet. She's been out there since Edward left her there a couple of hours ago. There's a search underway, based at her house. The Chief is organizing it. He looked for her after he found the note that Edward forged."

Everyone turned to look at Edward where he still stood in the middle of the room. "Well," Alice asked, "Are you coming with us? Are you going to make this right?" Although she had seen his decision, she felt like she should offer him a chance to change his mind.

The look on his face was one of torment. They could see his emotions chase one another across his features: anguish, fear, sadness…and finally resolve.

"I am not good for Bella. It's because of our relationship that horrendous things have happened to her." Before Emmett could point out verbally that he had saved her from Tyler's van and from the rapists in Port Angeles, Edward continued. "Yes, I saved her in the parking lot and in the alley, but both times she was actually distracted by thoughts of me. If I had never been in her life, things might have gone differently. I'm taking myself out of the equation. I am leaving. It's the best thing for her, are you all coming, or not?" He looked each family member in the face, and while some looked to be considering his request, Alice stepped into the middle of the room before they could voice their decision.

"That is _not_ the best plan for Bella, no matter what you think." Visions of Bella moving through life like a ghost quickly rushed through Alice's mind and Edward winced at each one of them. "I will not abandon my best friend." At Alice's decision, the visions changed, slightly. Bella still looked sad, but not emaciated and nearly comatose. It wasn't a vast improvement, but at least she didn't look like she was at death's door.

"Alice, I just can't…" Edward stopped, his voice breaking.

Closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath Alice whispered, "I know, Edward. Go and fight your demons. We'll _all_ be here when you're ready to come home."

With a nod at the others, Emmett and Alice sprinted out of the door, anxious to get to Bella.

Edward closed his eyes and drew in a shuddering breath. When he opened them, Esme was standing before him. She threw her arms around his waist and he held her close. "Edward, please don't go. It will be all right, we can make it right."

Squeezing her gently before dropping his arms, Edward tried to smile down at Esme. "I can't be here, near her and not be with her. I'm not worthy of being with her." When Esme tried to speak, he put his fingers gently against her lips. "No, Mother, this is the way it has to be. I've been thinking about Victoria. I'm worried that she may come after Bella. I'm going to try and find her. I'll check in when I can…" And with that he disappeared up the stairs. Moments later they heard his balcony door open and close and they knew he was gone.

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**A/N...This isn't very long story...only nine chapters ranging in length from 773 words to 3272 words. A big change from my massive chapters...The story is complete and I'll post a chapter every other day.**

**Chapter Two preview:**

Emmett held Bella closer and growled, the rough sound reverberating through the damp woods. "I don't think so, dude."

Alice stepped in front of Emmett and crouched in a defensive posture. "We're taking her back to her father. Step aside."

**Thanks for reading...and I'd love to hear what you think.**

**Kathie**


	2. Chapter 2

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**~Chapter Two~**

"Bella, sweetie, you need to wake up." Alice was patting Bella's pale, wet cheeks, trying to get a response from the chilled young woman. Emmett had already scooped her from the damp ground and wrapped her in the blanket. He held her gently against his chest, thinking harsh thoughts about his brother.

They both noticed her lashes fluttering before she spoke. "Edward? Alice, where's Edward?" Bella's voice was a mere whisper, but they heard it. "He left me and said you were all gone."

"Oh, Bella, we aren't leaving you. He was wrong, about so many things." Bella's head fell back onto Emmett's chest and they knew she was out again. Alice and Emmett hurried toward Bella's house. Both of their noses suddenly wrinkled at the smell that wafted across their path. They glanced at each other just as a large man, wearing only shorts, stepped from behind a tree.

His skin was rippling and a shimmer appeared around him. "Put her down…and back away."

Emmett held Bella closer and growled, the rough sound reverberating through the damp woods. "I don't think so, dude."

Alice stepped in front of Emmett and crouched in a defensive posture. "We're taking her back to her father. Step aside."

"She doesn't need leeches around her!" His voice was low and threatening.

"Alice, he's a werewolf!" Emmett's voice now cracked in surprise. "Carlisle made a treaty with them when we were here before…"

Narrowing her eyes, Alice tried to see the outcome of their meeting, but all she saw was a blank, nothing was coming to her. That made her pause as she tried to see their future. Again, nothing.

Deciding that a fight wouldn't do Bella any good, Alice said, "We'll _all_ take her back to her father." Since Emmett wasn't releasing her, the tall man had no choice and he let them lead the way.

As soon as they could see the lights of the house, Alice started calling out, "Charlie…we have her. She's okay."

Several people rushed to them, with Charlie in the lead. Alice noticed a couple of men from the Reservation. They stayed back from the press of people as the tall man beside Alice moved to join them. She heard the quiet conversation.

"The legends are true. They're the Cold Ones from the stories. They found her and wouldn't back off." All of them turned to glare at Alice and Emmett as they walked beside Charlie into the house.

A glance between Alice and Emmett affirmed that the wolves' presence was something that Carlisle needed to know soon.

After settling Bella on the couch where Dr. Gerandy began checking her over, Charlie turned to Alice and Emmett.

"The note I found said that she was in the woods, with Edward. Where is he?" Charlie was beyond agitated, a vein pulsing rapidly at his temple briefly catching both of the vampires' attention.

Thinking quickly, Alice came up with a story, one that would hopefully keep Edward from being shot the next time-and she sincerely hoped there would be a next time-that Charlie saw him. "He and Carlisle left for LA a couple of hours ago. A hospital there is trying to hire my father and he wanted to go and hear their offer. He took Edward so that they could check out schools there at the same time." Shrugging her small shoulders, Alice tried to convey her own feelings on the subject. "None of us want to go, but we'll have to if that's where Dad and Mom want to go."

Emmett spoke up, "When he came back to the house, Edward said that he had left Bella in the woods. That she wanted to spend some time alone; she was upset at the thought that he might be leaving permanently and they had a fight. He said he left her right on the trail, but she must have wandered off when it started to rain." Emmett was sharing just enough of the truth to make the facts fit the outcome.

"We heard about the search on the police scanner and decided to help look for her," Alice added as she brushed Bella's hair gently back from her forehead. Charlie could see the concern on both of their faces and he bit back his anger at their brother.

"When will they be back?" Charlie asked. He really wanted to get that boy alone to give him a piece of his mind.

"I don't really know…" Alice's voice trailed off softly.

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This is the shortest chapter of the nine...but it is what it had to be...didn't seem worth waiting TWO days for such a short one...

**Chapter three preview:**

"What do you mean? It was the right thing for him to do?" Alice was astonished at Bella's statement.

"Well, Alice, I always knew that my being with him had to be a mistake. He was always just so much _more_ than me. I could never see what he saw in me from the start. I understand why he wouldn't want to be dragged down by me…"

**As always, would love to hear your thoughts...and thanks so much for the reviews already posted...and the alerts and favorites!**

**Kathie**


	3. Chapter 3

**~October…Acceptance~**

Carlisle pretended to return from LA later that week, stating that he didn't think the hospital there would be a good fit. The Forks' Hospital was very glad to hear it.

Esme called Forks' High and told them that Edward had transferred to a private school to focus on his music and that she would be by to pick up his transcripts.

When people realized that Edward didn't return with Carlisle, the rumors began in earnest around town and at the high school. They ranged from him being in rehab for drug and alcohol use, to the scandalous idea that he was now working in the porn industry. None of the family commented beyond their original statement and the rumors continued, growing wilder with each telling.

A week after being lost in the woods, Bella walked quietly through the halls at school. She kept her head down and did her work, barely interacting with her fellow students. All of the vampires had heard the wild rumors and the snide comments regarding the breakup and wanted to spare Bella as much grief as possible. The Cullens made sure that no one bothered her and that she ate something for lunch every day. Emmett found he only had to glare at Jessica and Lauren to keep them away. Alice had seen Lauren tormenting and teasing Bella and none of them wanted that to happen.

Alice spent many nights in Bella's room with her, waking her when the nightmares caused her to scream. When she asked Bella what the dreams were about she was told that Edward was always walking away and that although she knew that it was the right thing for him to do, it still hurt, badly.

"What do you mean? It was the right thing for him to do?" Alice was astonished at Bella's statement.

"Well, Alice, I always knew that my being with him had to be a mistake. He was always just so much _more_ than me. I could never see what he saw in me from the start. I understand why he wouldn't want to be dragged down by me…"

Although she tried, Alice couldn't make Bella see the wrongness of her statements. All she could do was support her best friend and hope that things would work out eventually. The nearness of the wolves kept her visions at a minimum and that made her nuts.

Charlie was grateful for the help with his heartbroken daughter. The nights that Alice wasn't there, he would wake her when she began to scream and several times he offered to hunt the cad down so she could slap him, or Charlie could shoot him. Bella always thanked him for his thoughts and declined the offer.

Esme, wanting to do something to help, would bring dinners over regularly. None of them wanted Bella to waste away to nothing, like Alice's visions had showed. Esme's nurturing was welcomed by Bella and she occasionally found herself cuddled on the couch, resting her head on Esme's cool shoulder as they waited for dinner to heat.

Trying to atone for what he felt was his mistake at Bella's birthday party, Jasper also spent a lot of time with Bella. He was trying to acclimate himself to her sweet aroma and hoped that being near her would help. He also tried to help her emotions. Knowing the five basic stages of grief, he was surprised that acceptance was the first place she went, it was usually last. She deserved to feel any way she wanted, but he helped to keep the hardest edges off. When Bella would take a deep breath and her pain would ease after his emotional adjustments, Jasper felt that he was finally making amends for his actions.

Jacob and Billy Black came by about once a week to share a pizza and watch a game with Charlie. They both kept a close eye on Bella. Charlie didn't notice that they and the Cullens were never at the Swan house at the same time.

**~November…Depression~**

Even with the support of most of the Cullens and Charlie, Bella slowly slipped into a deep depression. It was getting harder to get her to eat and she was fading before their eyes. When she wasn't in school or doing homework, Bella would doze on her bed. She kept hoping that she'd find solace in the place that used to bring her such joy when she shared the space with _him_. But that wasn't to be. The nightmares when she fell asleep left her whimpering more often than not. She never felt rested.

When Edward called Carlisle to tell him that he was still tracking Victoria in the southern part of the United States and that he wasn't coming home, it was decided that they shouldn't tell Bella. Alice couldn't see the outcome and they were worried that it would send her deeper into the dark.

**~December…Denial~**

Charlie, Alice, Esme and Carlisle confronted Bella just after Christmas. The holiday had been a very quiet one in the Swan household. Bella had cooked a small turkey and had tried to smile for her father and the Blacks, but Charlie had seen the effort it took her and decided that something had to be done. He called the Cullens for the help they had been offering every time they came by.

They held an intervention in the living room, before the little Charlie Brown Christmas tree that Charlie had set up in the corner of the living room. The sound of the needles dropping from the dead branches was a backdrop to the somber meeting.

"Bella, you haven't left the house since school got out for the break. All you do is sleep, you aren't eating, you shuffle around like an old person. Things have to change!" Charlie, who barely spoke himself, was practically spewing words, he was so distraught.

Esme and Alice each took one of Bella's hands. "Bella, we are so worried about you." Esme's voice was quiet, but strong with the depths of her feelings for this young woman, a woman she saw as her own child.

"Bella, you can't let him take you away from us. We love you and care about you…" Alice's voice was soft and Bella looked at her, surprise in her eyes.

"I'm fine. I'm just tired. Really, I'm okay…" Bella's voice could barely be heard.

Charlie's meager control snapped. "Bella! You don't eat, you don't talk, you scream when you do finally fall sleep. You are definitely NOT alright. Carlisle knows a doctor, maybe with therapy you can come back to us, to me."

"But I'm okay, Dad. Really. I eat…" Again her voice was just a whisper but Charlie interrupted her.

"Yeah, you ate about a tablespoon of the food you prepared for Christmas. That's _not_ eating." Charlie was pacing the room, running his hands through his hair, his moustache twitching as he tried to get control of his fears. His only child was letting herself fade away. Over a boy! He couldn't stand it.

"Maybe you _should_ go to Renee, in Florida. You always liked the sun; maybe being away from here will give you a new outlook…a new start." His words had barely left his lips before Bella jumped to her feet, snatching her hands away from Esme and Alice.

"No! I'm not leaving. I have to stay here or he won't be able to…" Pressing her lips together, Bella stopped talking and walked to the window, her stiff back to those gathered.

"You think he's coming back!" Charlie gasped. He spun around and looked at Carlisle who stood next to him. "She thinks she can't leave or he won't be able to find her. I'm asking you now, is your son coming back?"

Carlisle gently grasped Bella's shoulders and turned her so that he looked her in the eyes, making sure that he had her attention before he spoke. "I really don't know. Edward has been searching for something and he's afraid." Bella shuddered at his words, her shoulders slumping as she thought about what _distractions_ he might be looking for. "I do know that you are a worthy person, Bella, in your own right. You need to be well, for yourself, and for those of us that love you."

Even after denying again that she was unwell, Bella agreed to try and eat and to try and get out more. To prove herself, she asked Alice to take her to a book store in Port Angeles. Everyone granted that it was a start and let the matter drop, although none of them ceased their vigil over her.

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**Chapter Four Preview:**

"Are you ready?" she asked as she stepped aside and let her in.

Bella looked up the stairs toward Edward's bedroom, the room that she had spent so many wonderful hours in. "Yes, I really think I am."

**We all know that Stephenie M owns these characters, right? I'm not making a dime (or even a nickel) off of them...**

**I'm so pleased with your responses to this story...seems like a LOT of us didn't like the way they ALL just left...**

**I was going to post every other day...but when I reached 20+ reviews per chapter...I decided that I'd post when I got to 20...instead of every other day...does that work for you all? ;D**

**Thank you all so very much...I've enjoyed hearing what you think about this story...**

**Kathie**


	4. Chapter 4

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**~January…Anger~**

After the intervention by her father and the Cullens, Bella slowly started to come out of the fog and began thinking about her situation. There was a hole in her chest that nothing seemed to fill. By focusing on school work she tried to keep her thoughts away from Edward. Any thought of him made the emptiness that she felt seem to grow. She couldn't control her dreams and when he walked away from her in them, she found herself screaming and crying out in pain. She would jerk awake, her throat aching from the tears that she would shed in her sleep. Sometimes she felt that if she could only get one good night's sleep, she would be better. But that hadn't happened yet.

The turning point was when she flat out asked Alice if they had heard from him. It had taken her four months to even ask the question.

At Alice's somber nod something snapped in Bella's mind. She didn't know what he had said to them, and she didn't ask, so she came up with her own scenarios. In December, at that intervention, Carlisle had said Edward was searching for something. She thought it was probably those distractions he had told her about when he left her in the woods. Her anger started to rise. He cared enough to call _them_ to tell them about the distractions, the search for something that wasn't _her_. Not that she wanted to hear about any distractions, but the fact that he called just irritated her no end. It should have been her that he needed, that he wanted, that he found.

He had told her many times that he loved her, that she was his forever, and then…he just walked away. She began to think that he may have been wrong and that Alice and everyone else were right. She may not be on his level, that lofty pedestal that she had put him on, but that didn't make her _nothing_.

As the month went on, Bella found that her anger was growing. She was tired of feeling so badly and she was weary of the rut her mind had sunk into. The one where all she could do was hear his voice telling her that he didn't want her. The one where she told herself that she was unworthy of him.

Finally she began listening to those other voices, the ones that said they loved her and that she was a significant part of their lives. Her father's voice, her mother's, Alice, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle and Jasper; they all told her over and over that she was important. Rosalie took the time to tune up her truck and smiled at her when she said thank you. Bella knew that was her way of saying she was valuable.

She started listening…and believing them.

Deciding that she needed to shake herself up and to try and force _him_ out of her mind, Bella went to the Cullens' house after school one day near the end of January. Alice met her at the door with a smile on her face.

"Are you ready?" she asked as she stepped aside and let her in.

Bella looked up the stairs toward Edward's bedroom, the room that she had spent so many wonderful hours in. "Yes, I really think I am."

"I'll leave you to it then, have fun…" Alice walked to the living room where Jasper met her with a smile on his face and a nod of encouragement to Bella.

Holding her anger close, like a cloak, Bella walked slowly up the stairs. Emmett and Rosalie waited on the landing to the second story and he gave her two thumbs up. Rosalie smirked and waved her on after handing her a shiny silver hammer. Bella smiled back at them and held the hammer tightly in her hands.

Pausing outside of _his_ door on the third floor, Bella took in a deep breath which caught in her throat when she detected a hint of his aroma. Even after all of these months of his absence a faint hint of it remained. Squaring her shoulders, she turned the knob and stepped inside the room that used to be a haven for her. After a quick glance around she turned and closed the door firmly behind her.

The family had gathered in the living room and the sound of breaking CD's and the smashing of audio equipment was actually music to their ears.

Finally silence reigned from the upper levels and Jasper spoke up, "Bella's let a lot of the anger go. She's feeling more at peace. I can feel acceptance and an amazing strength in her spirit. She is prepared to move on. _When_ Eddie comes back, she's going to be ready for him. I'd pay good money to see that."

He had said _when_, because Alice had seen Edward's return, although she didn't share all the details with anyone. They hadn't told Bella that he would be home sometime in the near future. With the way her visions came and went, and the lack of detail in them, she really didn't know exactly when it would be anyway. She couldn't give an actual date for his return; she just knew it would be before graduation.

* * *

A/N...I'm so glad that so many of you think as I do...that the family would help Bella not to fall into the abyss, but that she would still have been depressed...she LOVES the guy...and it hurts to be left. BUT, she also needs to see that she isn't "just" Edward's left behind Bella...she's BELLA, friend, daughter, sister...a hard lesson that some of us needed to learn a few times over.

Thanks for your lovely words! I do love the reviews...

**Chapter Five Preview:**

"Bella, you know that the Valentine's Dance is coming up next week…" Alice's voice trailed off as she saw the look of dismay cross Bella's face. "No, silly, I know you aren't going to the dance."

A sigh of relief left Bella's lips but she saw the look was still on Alice's face. "So, what about the dance? Did you need me to help you choose a dress to wear?"


	5. Chapter 5

**~Waking Up…Acceptance~**

Bella didn't destroy everything in Edward's room, although she could have with all the anger she had flowing through her. She broke enough things to find a release for some of her resentment. It freed her to move on, albeit slowly. She had felt good when she stood upon the shards of what had been about two dozen CD's. The sight of one of his stereos in bits and pieces had assuaged a small bit of her anger too.

When she came down the stairs, Rosalie had told her that she could have a go at his Volvo with the hammer, too, but she had refrained, although she had smiled at the thought. Yes, she didn't destroy everything, and it didn't help a lot, but it did help her a little bit. And that was enough to get her on the road to recovery.

Bella slowly began interacting with some of the students at school; sometimes she even sat with Angela and Ben at lunch. The Cullens kept an eye on her and still spent a lot of time with her, but she was slowly coming back to life.

Charlie was glad to see some spark back in his daughter's eyes. Billy and Jake started coming to dinner a couple of times a week again, staying to watch the games on the widescreen TV. Jake would help Bella with the dishes and they'd do homework together. Occasionally a smile could be found on Bella's face.

Bella was finally accepting the fact that she could go on. _He_ didn't want her, but that didn't mean that she had to curl up and die. She was finding joy in the small things again, and feeling that she was a worthwhile person, as Carlisle had said, in her own right. Nightmares troubled her less, although most mornings she still woke with tears on her face. She had started leaving notes to herself in places she saw regularly: on her dresser mirror, on the back of the door, hanging from her rearview mirror in her truck, stuck to the side of her ancient computer, on the front of the fridge. She would see them and read them out loud. Jasper called them _affirmations_. Her dad and friends stuck a few where she could find them too:

_I am a good friend._

_I am a great daughter._

_Dad and Mom love me._

_I am my Dad's favorite daughter (and my Mom's too)._

_Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper and Emmett love me._

_I am an excellent student._

_Alice and I are best friends._

_Rosalie is proud of me._

_I am stronger than I think I am._

_I make Emmett laugh._

The last one made _Bella_ laugh when she found it tucked into her math book at school. Several students turned to look at her when they heard the sound. A few of them hoped that they would hear it again, soon.

Later that day while Bella ate a salad and a slice of pizza for lunch, Alice got a speculative look on her face.

"What, Alice? I know that look. You're planning something and I probably won't like it," Bella sighed as she put her fork down on the tray.

"Bella, you know that the Valentine's Dance is coming up next week…" Alice's voice trailed off as she saw the look of dismay cross Bella's face. "No, silly, I know you aren't going to the dance."

A sigh of relief left Bella's lips but she saw the look was still on Alice's face. "So, what about the dance? Did you need me to help you choose a dress to wear?"

At that question, everyone at their table, including Rosalie, burst out into laughter. Everyone knew that Alice chooses the clothes they wear, not letting anyone else in the family do so.

Rolling her eyes, Alice continued, "Again, NO…but I have volunteered to do the decorations for the dance. I thought it was time for Forks High to have a classy event. No paper streamers and a disco ball. And I thought it might be fun for you to help me with it. We'd start working on it Friday night and then finish up Saturday morning." Alice was bouncing in her seat as she pictured the scene in her mind.

Bella thought it over. It actually could be fun watching Alice, who did everything over the top, decorate at a human pace. As long as she didn't have to attend the dance, she'd agree. But first, it might be fun to torment the pixie, just a little bit.

"You do realize that there is already a decorating committee and you will have," Bella paused and lowered her voice to a mere whisper, "_humans_ helping you? You won't be able to flit around at supersonic speed. You do know that Lauren and Jessica are on that committee, right?" A shudder rippled down her spine. Those two were toxic and she couldn't imagine having to spend time with them voluntarily.

"I've already spoken to Mrs. Brown, she's in charge of the dance, and I told her that I was having some outside help on Friday night…and that the committee could help on Saturday morning. When I told her my ideas, she agreed with me completely." The smug look on Alice's face confirmed the fact that she had probably dazzled the poor woman into agreeing with whatever her plans were.

Bella shrugged and agreed to help, knowing that once Alice set her mind to a course of action, there usually wasn't any way to get out of it. Watching Alice whip out a folder with the dance plans in it and engage Rosalie in the discussion, Bella decided that it really might be fun. The student body had no idea just how overboard Alice could go.

* * *

**See? I didn't have her destroy EVERYTHING...just enough to feel a little better...I'm flying to Portland, OR today...to join my family as we vacation on the west coast...I have everything uploaded to ffn...now just have to get an internet connection so that I can upload it...should be easy to do...I'm hoping anyway...so...daily posting should continue...we'll just have to play it by ear...**

**Chapter Six Preview:**

The feeling persisted and Bella felt her anxiety begin to rise. The doors suddenly swept out and open and a cold breeze blew around her. Turning to close the doors Bella gasped when she spotted a beautiful woman glaring in at her. Her red hair was wild and there was a smudge of dirt across one high, pale cheekbone.

**Was that an awful teaser? One reader says she thinks the teasers are killing her...SORRY! Mwahahaha...wait...sorry...**

**Kathie**


	6. Chapter 6

**~Saturday Morning~**

"Alice, this really is amazing." Bella stood in the middle of the dance floor, otherwise known as the basketball court and looked at the changes that had been made overnight. It was hard to tell that this actually was a gymnasium. The night before Alice had directed Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie as they transformed the room from a place where athletes normally ran from side to side, to a hall fit for a palace.

Through the draping of sheer white fabric, a false ceiling had been formed high overhead. Red fabric covered the walls with swags of the white material gathered at intervals around the perimeter. A large dais had been set up for the DJ at one end of the room. Small tables with chairs were grouped around the edge of the highly buffed floor, waiting to be decorated by the committee. Alice had stacks of white linen tablecloths, assorted Valentine décor and extravagant centerpieces ready and waiting for the humans to use to finish off her vision. Catered food would be placed on long tables opposite the DJ's dais.

_When Alice had shown her plans to Mrs. Brown, she had said that there was no way the school treasury could handle such a grandiose scheme. Alice assured her that the Cullen family would be funding the DJ (imported from Seattle), decorations and the catering. She had spun a story about how she really wanted to do this as this was her last year in high school and that her parents wanted to give this to her as a gift. Mrs. Brown, after checking with Alice's _mother_, had graciously agreed to the plans._

_Bella had laughed when told that part. "Alice, you can only _hope_ that this is the last time you'll go through high school."_

"_Well, it's my last time to graduate from Forks High!" She had huffed and then gone back to her seating charts._

Bella spun slowly around, before looking up at the disco ball suspended in the middle of the false ceiling. "I thought you didn't want one of those."

Emmett bounced up and smiled as he looked at the shiny globe. "I convinced her to have it. There's nothing like a disco ball and loud music to get teenagers out onto the dance floor. Besides, I like the way they sparkle." Leaning close to Bella's ear, he continued in a whisper, "I told her that I wouldn't help if she didn't have one and if I bailed, so would Jasper!"

Before Alice could dispute that claim, the doors swung open and a dozen or so of the decorating committee came rushing into the room. Their gasps of delight when they saw the changes to their gym made Alice smile. When she showed them the rest of the decorations, and told them that the centerpieces (flowers in pretty vases filled with glass rocks, with teddy bear accents) would be door prizes, she received a round of applause. Yes, she knew how to throw a party and it was nice to have _some_ people appreciate the fact, as she said pointedly under her breath.

Within minutes she had the youngsters sorted into pairs and had the teams getting the decorations placed around the room. Bella was covering a table with a pristine white tablecloth near the outside doors when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She felt she was being watched and glanced around. No one, not even Mike Newton, was looking at her. He had been taking every opportunity to chat her up recently but his attention was focused on Jessica at the moment.

The feeling persisted and Bella felt her anxiety begin to rise. The doors suddenly swept out and open and a cold breeze blew around her. Turning to close the doors Bella gasped when she spotted a beautiful woman glaring in at her. Her red hair was wild and there was a smudge of dirt across one high, pale cheekbone.

At her gasp, all of the vampires in the room had turned and looked at her. Jasper was crouched before her before anyone saw him move. Rosalie, knowing that a distraction was called for, dropped one of the more fragile centerpieces at her feet. The helpers all turned to look at her, many of them rushing to help her pick up the broken flowers, wet bear and glass pieces.

When Jasper saw that Alice was guarding Bella, he rushed out the doors just as they were swinging shut. Emmett was hard on his heels. In a flash, all three were out of sight.

"Bella, are you okay?" At her nod, Alice clutched her sister close and moved them to sit at a table far from the doors as she called Carlisle and told him what had just happened. Rosalie kept the rest of the students occupied by telling them that they should take a break and try one of the appetizer plates that had already been delivered. Her suggestion met with loud cheers as the group gathered around one of the tables and began eating.

"Was that really Victoria that I just saw, Alice?" Bella asked, her voice shaking, when Alice hung up her phone. At Alice's nod, Bella continued, "Why would she be here?"

"Edward was worried that she might try something like this…" Bella felt the hole in her chest deepen when Alice mentioned Edward's name. She wrapped her arms around her torso, trying to hold herself together. She was getting better, but she wasn't well yet and different things would cause the pain to flare up. Alice put her arm around her shoulders and shook her head.

"I don't know why I didn't see this, why I didn't see her coming here. But we had that problem with her before. Her talent seems to be one of evasion. I think she doesn't make plans, she just makes decisions on the fly and that gets around my gift." Shaking her head again, Alice stated, "I told _him_ when he left that tracking her wouldn't work…"

"Wait, you told Edward that? Why would he care where Victoria was?" Bella was confused and Alice could see her trying to piece things together. She waited. Bella was a very intuitive young woman and she was running several recent conversations through her mind, trying to puzzle things out.

"Carlisle said Edward was searching for something. Was he actually searching _for_ someone?" At Alice's nod a sudden understanding came over Bella. She remembered Edward saying that he would stay while it was good for her for him to do so. That he loved her enough to do the right thing, the right thing for her.

She started to add things up:

_James' attack…_

_Jasper's near attack…_

_Edward's own irrational fear that he would hurt her…_

_His apprehension, often expressed, that he wasn't good enough for her…_

_The many times that he said he'd stay…as long as it was good for her…_

"He left to try and protect me, didn't he, Alice?" Relief washed over Bella as she put this together. That only lasted a moment. Then rage overcame the relief. "He made the decision to leave without asking me for my opinion. He made it on his own…" A growl fit for a vampire rumbled up and through Bella's chest.

Rosalie, who had left the teenagers eating their snack, smiled in approval when she heard it. "I told the idiot that he was wrong to do that, but Mr. Know-it-All wouldn't listen. He was so used to always knowing what everyone was thinking, that he just assumed it would be okay for him to make the decision."

"That's not quite fair, Rose," Alice exclaimed. "It hurt him to leave…it hurts him to stay away."

Bella was shaking her head in denial. "That idiot! Didn't he add the times that he saved me into his equation? Tyler's van, those men in Port Angeles…James!" She got up and started pacing, her fists pounding on her thighs. "He always said he'd stay until it didn't serve me well for him to do so. He'd just smile when I told him that I _never_ wanted him to go."

Alice and Rosalie just watched her work through her initial anger. Bella only stopped when Mike came over and asked Alice what they needed to do next. Leaving her best friend with her sister, she led Mike back over to the teens and put them to work.

When they were out of earshot, Rosalie turned to Bella and gave her a thoughtful look. "You know I wasn't happy when Edward brought you into our family." Bella gave a little nod as she sat back down on her abandoned chair. Rose sat down next to her and took her warm hand into her cool one. "Bella, even I could see the changes you brought to Broody Boy. You've been a good friend to this family. It's been kind of nice to have someone else around for Alice to focus on too."

Bella laughed and then smiled at Rose's nickname for Edward. It suited him. The fact that she had smiled and laughed over the situation surprised her. She was still so mad, but she could see a bit of his reasoning. That didn't excuse him, but it gave her a bit of insight into his leaving.

"So…he's been out tracking Victoria-who was just outside these doors-so that he can protect me. Hmph, doesn't seem to be working out very well, does it?" Rosalie laughed at the snarky sound in Bella's voice. She was actually beginning to really like this feisty human, now that she wasn't sad all the time.

Their attention was caught when one of the doors swung quietly open and Emmett stepped back inside. He shook his head as he approached them.

"Jasper is still chasing her, but there's no way he can catch up. She was beating feet toward Seattle." A scowl covered his face at their lack of success. "He told me to check around here while he followed her further. I found several scent trails in the woods around the school. Seems like she's been out there for a few days, probably watching our girl here. I also followed a trail to Bella's house."

Bella gasped as she thought through the ramifications of that. She didn't focus on her own safety, but on that of her dad. "Charlie! Is he okay?"

Emmett put his arm around Bella's shoulders and squeezed gently. "He's fine right now. My guess is that now that we've seen Victoria, she won't come back, well, at least not right away."

"Unless that's what she wants you to think! Maybe she thought she could get me, and when it didn't work, and she ran she might be planning to come right back, while your guard is down." Bella had gotten to her feet and was pacing again. "No, I can't put anyone else at risk. That's happened too many times already. I should just go and wait somewhere for her to find me."

At her words Alice was suddenly in front of her, gripping her shoulders tightly. Rose glanced around to see if the teens had noticed anything, but they were blissfully unaware of the drama going on at their end of the room.

"Don't you even think that, young lady. Remember how that worked out in Phoenix?" Alice punctuated each word with a shake of Bella's body as Bella glanced down at the scar on her wrist. "Jasper will be back soon and you are going to come to our house. We can protect you there. We'll come up with a plan for Charlie's safety too. We'll go by your house and pick up what you'll need for the next couple of days."

Rose said she would stay and oversee the rest of the decorating. The dance must go on, after all. They had to keep the humans in the dark.

There was no gainsaying Alice when her mind was made up. Bella allowed herself to be guided out to her truck. Alice drove while Emmett stood in the truck bed, keeping a vampiric eye on the surrounding area. A sense of déjà vu was felt by all.

Charlie was fishing with Billy Black so the house was empty when they arrived. Emmett checked it out just to make sure that there were no red-headed surprises waiting for them inside.

When he gave the all clear, Alice hustled Bella into her room and quickly started throwing things into a suitcase. Bella nearly ran into her when she came to a total stop in the middle of the room.

"What is it, Alice?" Bella asked when she saw the familiar glazed look on her face.

Blinking, Alice pointed to a board on the floor. "Is that board loose?" She pounced and gently pried the short piece of wood up. Bella leaned over her shoulder to see what was there. She gasped when she recognized the CD, plane tickets and pictures that had been missing since the night that Edward left.

Kneeling beside Alice, she lifted the items out of the dark space and looked at them in shock. "He said _I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. __**It will be as if I'd never existed**__._" Bella hugged the items close to her chest and looked into Alice's eyes. "I looked for these when I got back. He left them here the entire time. He couldn't make a clean break. He left me something of himself."

"Yes, he did." Alice leapt to her feet and continued placing things into the bag. "C'mon, we need to get back to the house. Jasper is going to be back by the time we get there."

* * *

**Chapter Seven Preview:**

"So, vampires AND werewolves." Bella was shaking her head. "Is Bigfoot out there too? Wait, would that be Jake? He's grown so much these last couple of months." Carlisle admitted that the younger Black was now a shape-shifter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone...yep, NO internet yesterday...and intermittent today...sigh...**

**BUT, I got to meet MORGAN LOCHLEAR and his lovely wife, Jenn, on Monday night in Newport...we had a GREAT time...**

**Today I'm in Crescent City, CA...going to check out the Redwoods today...then start our way back to Portland for my flight home on Friday.**

**Waving at Dawn! **

**There is a killer cliffie tomorrow...hopefully I'll be able to post the NEXT chapter after it! Cross your fingers...LOL...**

**I can't answer reviews right now, hope you all understand!**

**Thanks for reading...**

* * *

**~Family Meeting~**

By the time they arrived at the house, Carlisle had already called Billy Black, asking for help in protecting the Swan family. They had spoken a few times since Bella had been lost in the woods. The treaty was in full effect and had had a few modifications added to it. Billy immediately agreed to keep Charlie on the reservation and to warn the Pack that there was trouble coming. He tried to get Carlisle to bring Bella there, but Carlisle refused. He felt that his family would be more than capable of keeping Bella safe themselves.

Bella walked into the living room, clutching the picture of Edward and herself to her chest. Emmett ran her bag up to Edward's room. He paused a moment, wondering if that was the best place for her. He shrugged, dropping the bag on the black leather couch. If it wasn't, someone would tell him to move it. It was fine there for now.

When he got back downstairs he saw Esme holding the photo, smoothing the edges out.

"Bella, you shouldn't fold yourself away. This is the way the picture should be displayed." Alice handed her a fine silver frame and Esme slipped the picture into it and then placed it on the mantle amid the many other family photos.

After hugging Esme in thanks, Bella turned to Carlisle and asked how Charlie was going to be protected. Taking her hand, Carlisle sat her down beside him on the couch and told her about the treaty and the Pack.

"So, vampires AND werewolves." Bella was shaking her head. "Is Bigfoot out there too? Wait, would that be Jake? He's grown so much these last couple of months." Carlisle admitted that the younger Black was now a shape-shifter.

"That's why they've been watching me like hawks since Edward left. No, like _wolves_." Bella just shook her head. Her world perception was changing yet again.

Jasper was stunned at how well she took the information. No matter what knowledge was given to her, she just took it in stride. He thought, _Bella is an amazing woman and Edward really is an idiot._

**~!~!~!~**

As organizers of the event, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett felt they had to attend the dance. Alice had looked at the evening from every direction that she could think of. Things looked calm and safe for Bella at the family home.

After seeing them off to the dance, Bella and Esme made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Esme laughed when Bella ate several spoonfuls raw.

"Sometimes I think we shouldn't bake them at all. I should just keep it in the refrigerator for when I need that little bite of comfort food," Bella responded to Esme's laughter.

"Oh, we need to bake some. Even though he wouldn't eat one now unless one of his brothers bet him, the aroma of baking cookies brings happy memories back to Emmett. So we need to bake at least a couple for him to sniff." Bella agreed and said that when baked they made a pretty good breakfast. Carlisle, entering the kitchen, told them that he didn't want to hear this conversation. As a doctor he was appalled at the thought of raw dough and cookies for breakfast. Esme and Bella just looked at him and then burst into laughter, both of them exclaiming "men" at the same time.

Carlisle wasn't sure what had just happened, but if it brought laughter to two of his favorite women, he'd allow it. They spent the rest of the evening sitting in the living room, watching an old movie.

When the others returned from the dance, Emmett sniffed appreciatively. Bella thought about offering him a cookie, but decided it would just be wasted on him. They filled her in on the school gossip. Mike had arrived with Jessica but she left after she caught him kissing a Junior in a yellow halter dress. They went into great detail when they told her how the red punch from Jessica's cup looked dripping down his face.

Everyone worked hard to keep Bella's mind off of the fact that a crazy vampire was out to get her. She felt safe and loved. The happiness of the evening came to a screeching halt when it was time for her to sleep. Bella asked Emmett where he had put her bag and when he said it was in Edward's room, she was caught off guard. The pain that was a constant in her life spiked sharply. It had been a dull ache in the background of her feelings as she had enjoyed the evening. Her eyes moved to the frame that Esme had placed prominently on the mantle.

Feeling a cool arm around her shoulder, Bella looked up into Jasper's golden eyes. She felt a soothing of the ache and hugged him back. "Thanks, Jasper." Looking at the family gathered to offer comfort if needed, Bella realized just how much they all really loved her. She loved them too. Taking a deep breath and leaning into Jasper's side, Bella made a decision.

"Finding those items in my room this afternoon helped me to rethink a lot of the things that I've considered to be facts. I think the data I was given that night in the woods had a fatal flaw in it. Now that I have more input I think that I can see the bigger picture. Rather like knowing that there are vampires _and_ werewolves has changed my perception of the world." Rising up on her tiptoes, Bella gave Jasper a kiss on the cheek to thank him for his help and stepped away from him.

"I'm going to hope that I'm right in this, that Edward lied when he left. That he left to protect me. I don't agree with his decision, but I can understand it to some extent." Esme and Alice were smiling and nodding at her as she paused. "So…if he lied, then that means that he did, in fact, love me. I know that I love him, that's not going to change. But I am still so mad at him! I really want the opportunity to tell him how much. And maybe hit him with a baseball bat a time or two."

A booming laugh came from Emmett. "Hey, Sis, I'll hold him while you hit him."

"There will be no hitting!" Esme ordered. "Well, maybe only one smack, but then I'll hug him."

Alice stepped in front of Bella and put her hands on her shoulders. "Bella, he does love you. He's just so worried and confused. Not a state that he enjoys, believe me. Edward, once he got past the rebellious years, has always been controlled. He knows the minds of everyone around him, even when he tried to not listen. You really threw him off balance and then he fell in love. You know that very little can alter us after we are changed, right? Only something monumental can change us."

Bella nodded, remembering those conversations with Edward.

"What did he tell you the first morning after he took you to the meadow?"

Thinking back to that morning, how giddy she had felt that he had stayed, how he told her that she had said "I love you" in her sleep. And when she had said it while awake and aware he had said…

"_You are my life now_." Bella thought about that for a long moment. "He loved me. No…he _loves_ me. He left to protect me, to hunt down Victoria."

Flinging herself into Alice's arms, Bella felt the tears begin to fall again. "But what if he has changed again, Alice? What if he's decided that tracking and _distractions_ are what he wants?"

Esme stepped close and folded her two daughters into her arms. "Sweetie, he can't just decide to _not_ love you. You really are his mate and his love for you is embedded into his very being. He can't change that." Moving back, she looked into Bella's tearstained face. "He's not even fighting his love for you; he's just trying to keep you safe. This is all so new to him and he's scared. On a very real level, he's a seventeen year old boy, no matter how long he's been walking this earth."

"But what do I do now? Is there anything I can do? Do I just have to wait for him to come to his senses?" Bella's voice rose in a plaintiff plea.

Alice left Bella cuddled in Esme's arms and reached for her cell. "I'm tired of waiting. It's time to give him a push in the right direction." She punched in his number and waited while it rang. "I know it's going to go to voice mail, but I'm going to keep dialing until he decides to pick up."

The message she left was terse, and sure to catch his attention when he finally listened to it. "Edward, Victoria is here and she's pissed. She got within arms' reach of Bella today. We couldn't catch her, but she will be back, waiting for our guard to drop. You know how _distracted_ we vampires can get, so it's bound to happen sooner or later." And then she hung up.

Bella gasped at the message, but then burst into laughter. "Well, if he really does care, that will certainly catch his attention."

Before Alice could call again, Rosalie took out her own phone and began calling. "I'm going to keep it up until he finally answers. I owe him some annoyance…" Crooking her finger at Emmett, she left the room and he followed her upstairs. "I might take a minute or twenty with my husband first…"

The slamming of their door wasn't a surprise. "She's tenacious; she's going to make his phone ring every minute." Jasper was shaking his head. "Will it work, Alice?"

After a moment a smile slid across Alice's face. "Yes, she'll only have to dial 374 times before he breaks down and listens to his messages. Then he'll pick up the next time she calls."

"What will he do then?" Bella asked from the couch where she had sat down with Esme.

Alice's smile widened. "Then he'll come home."

* * *

**Chapter Eight Preview:**

Things happened rapidly after that. Just as Bella stepped out of the door and turned to lock it, a muffled squeak left her mouth as she dropped the ice cream, the papers and her key. A stone arm was locked around her neck, barely leaving her enough room to breathe.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi...just got a minute to post...and probably won't be able to update until Saturday...and this has a cliffie...so...you might want to wait to read it if clifffies kill you.**

**We are in Medford, Oregon...going to sleep in Newport, OR again...then flying home tomorrow...LATE...**

* * *

**~Monday~**

Alice's visions had shown them that Edward was indeed on his way home. When he had picked up the 375th time Rosalie had dialed, he had only asked one question-"Is it true?"

When she said _yes_, he had closed the connection and begun his run home. According to Alice's sporadic visions they expected him sometime Monday evening. She kept getting glimpses of him as he ran through woods and rushed around cities.

Alice still couldn't pinpoint when Victoria was going to make her next appearance. Everyone agreed that she _would_ be back. "Just like Edward can't change his love for you, Victoria's now set on vengeance, and she's not going to give up until she gets it or she's taken out. We'll be ready when she does."

Jasper had worked out a few strategies, trying to get plans set up for when she arrived. His mind kept drifting to the idea of using Bella as bait. She was what Victoria wanted and with the six of them-seven when Edward arrived-watching over her, she would certainly be safe enough. It did occur to him that they'd probably only be able to use that plan before Edward arrived. He would never stand for it.

But still, that might be the easiest way to bring Victoria out into the open…he would consider it.

Everyone was ready for school, but Bella was concerned. "Are you sure I should go to school today? I don't want any of the people there to be in the line of fire if Victoria comes back there."

Bella felt safe with the Cullens, but she was very worried about collateral damage to anyone near her. Her major concern was her dad, but he was safe for the moment. Billy had talked him into taking a few days to go up into Canada for some ice fishing. A couple of the younger members of the Pack were going with them. Esme had assured Charlie that they would love to keep Bella with them while he was gone.

Alice piped up. "Yes, I'm pretty sure you're safe at school today. We'll all be with you, either in your classes with you or watching out for you in the hallways. Surely even someone as nuts as Victoria wouldn't want to arouse the ire of the Volturi by making a scene in a school." She paused and said too low for Bella to hear, "At least I don't think she would. We'll all be close, just in case."

After getting a hug from Esme and Carlisle, who had taken a day off from the hospital to wait at home if he were needed, Bella gathered her school pack and stepped outside to pile into Emmett's Jeep with the rest of them. The vampires were very alert.

On the one hand Bella just wished that Victoria were there already; waiting for an attack was probably going to be worse than the actual confrontation. At least she hoped so. She shuddered at the thought that one of her family might be harmed when they did finally face the red-headed vampire.

On that thought they arrived at the school. Jasper took her hand and helped her out of the giant vehicle. He pulled her close for a moment. "I know you're anxious. We're here with you. You'll be okay." For a moment Bella leaned into his side and soaked up the feelings of confidence that he was wafting toward her.

Looking up into his face, Bella laughed gently. "Isn't it amazing that you're the one that's helping me to feel okay about all of this? You do know that I've never blamed you, right?" Alice had stepped close to them and the two women had their arms looped around Jasper's waist as they smiled up at him.

He could feel the truth behind her words and a weight lifted off of his shoulders. Laughing he squeezed them back and led them toward the school. "Let's get this day behind us. Edward will be here tonight and maybe he'll have some ideas on how to deal with Victoria."

**~!~!~!~**

"Alice, we have to run by my house. I left the paper for English there." Bella had looked through all of her books and bags before coming to that conclusion. "It's due tomorrow…"

Knowing that Edward was going to be home sometime soon had put Bella on edge. She had attacked her homework in the hopes that it would keep her mind busy. She felt weird just hanging around, waiting for him to come home like the Prodigal Son. It certainly felt like that. He would be welcomed home with open arms, by everyone. And she felt that he should be. Being a basically honest person, she knew that given half a chance, she'd be hugging him too.

"Okay, but we should wait until Jasper and Emmett get back from hunting." Esme and Carlisle had gone while they were in school.

Rosalie stepped into the living room. "I think that the two of us can watch out for our girl here, Alice. The way you drive it will only take us a few minutes to get there and back." Turning to Bella she asked, "Where do you think the paper is?"

"I'm sure it's on my desk, in my room. That's where I was working on it anyway." After a few more minutes of discussion, they agreed that things _should_ be okay. Rose said that she would drive, because her driving didn't make Bella as nervous as Alice's did.

"I've been thinking about getting a new car," Alice said. "Something canary yellow, I think. You've got this red BMW M3 convertible and I think that I need something equally as cool. What do you think about a Porsche 911 Turbo?"

The women kept up a conversation about cars all the way to Bella's house. Alice made a sweep of the yard and then the house when they arrived. When she called "all clear" Rosalie and Bella got out of the car and went inside.

"Yes, here it is." The paper was right beside her computer. She picked up the sticky note that was stuck to the side of the ancient machine and read it out loud, "_I am a good student_."

"Except that you almost forgot that piece of homework," Alice teased her.

"Yeah, well I have it now. We can go." They had all stepped out onto the porch when Bella remembered the Cherry Garcia ice cream that was in the freezer. Depending on how the meeting with Edward went, it might come in handy. Actually no matter how it went, there was always a place for ice cream. "Hey, I'm going to grab something for a snack, I'll be right out."

Alice and Rosalie nodded and walked out onto the sidewalk, slowly moving toward the little red car.

Things happened rapidly after that. Just as Bella stepped out of the door and turned to lock it, a muffled squeak left her mouth as she dropped the ice cream, the papers and her key. A stone arm was locked around her neck, barely leaving her enough room to breathe.

She was spun around to face Alice and Rosalie who were both crouched in attack positions. A loud scream of "Emmett!" left Rose's perfect lips and then there was silence.

Bella's hands had come up to pull at the arm around her throat, but she couldn't move it at all. Trying not to panic, she slowed her breathing down, trying to make the most of what air she was getting. She had been wrong; the waiting hadn't been as bad as actually being in the middle of the showdown.

Alice straightened slowly and came a step closer to the house. "Victoria, you really don't want to do anything that will cause you to be destroyed. Let the girl go."

With a laugh Victoria lifted Bella off her feet. Bella grasped the pinning arm tighter, trying to avoid getting strangled. Rose and Alice came closer.

"Unh uh…stop or your pet is going to be broken." The women stopped. "Oh, you two can be trained! Tell me, is this pet well trained too? Does she only speak when spoken to? Ooo, I know, does she donate on command? Let me see…" Using the hand that wasn't around Bella's neck, Victoria ripped the sleeve of her jacket and shirt off at the shoulder, exposing her skin to the cold air. Lifting her arm she looked it over.

"Nothing on this side." The ripping of the sleeves on her other arm was loud in Bella's ears. "Nope, no new bite marks here either, just this old one at the wrist. Could my James have left that one? It looks like his imprint. So she's not even good for snacking on. I can't imagine why you keep her around. But I guess that won't matter anymore. A mate for a mate; that seems fair."

A growl rumbled from the woods and suddenly Emmett and Jasper were standing with their wives. "Ah, four against one, that doesn't seem to be very fair, now does it?" Victoria's voice was still calm, considering how outnumbered she was. "But I have the high ground, don't I? I have what you all want. I think that puts me in control of the situation."

"Victoria, you can't get away with this…" Jasper took a small step forward, stopping when he saw Victoria curve her nails toward the brachial artery in Bella's upper arm.

"Jasper, right? You're the weak one, according to what I've heard. A little slice right here on the pet's arm, and you'll finish her for me, won't you?" Victoria was laughing again, the sound grating.

He narrowed his eyes and focused on the feeling coming from Bella. She was afraid, but she was sending love and compassion toward him. She trusted him. Jasper wouldn't let her down.

"Victoria, you say a mate for a mate. But you were never James' mate. He only used you and your evasive gift," Alice informed her. "You don't know what he was thinking before his end came, do you? My brother, Edward, could hear his thoughts. He was going to turn Bella and make her his bedmate. He was going to come and find me and use my psychic gift to keep him out of trouble. He was trading up, from you…to me and Bella."

At her words, the arm around Bella's neck tightened slightly and a growl erupted from Victoria's throat.

"You're pretty much penned in there, Vickie," Emmett said as he pointed out that she was standing with her back to the front door…there was no room for her to get off the porch with them arrayed around it.

"Ah, that's where you're wrong, big guy." Still holding Bella in front of her and without turning, Victoria smashed her free arm through the door and in a flash she was through the house and exploding out the back door. Bella felt battered by the debris of what used to be her front and back doors.

Victoria only got about three steps into the backyard when she stopped. Standing at the edge of the yard, where the woods came together with the manicured grass, was Edward.

Bella gasped at the sight of him. He was still in the same clothes he had worn when he left. They were somewhat tattered and dirty. She could tell that his eyes were dark, and she briefly wondered when the last time was that he had fed. He only glanced at Victoria, his gaze focused on Bella. She couldn't take her eyes off of him either. A part of her felt whole for the first time in months. No matter what happened now, her heart knew her mate had come back.

Victoria was no longer laughing. Her arm tightened and Bella struggled to catch a breath. She felt the vampire's free hand curve around her arm, squeezing like the cuff of a blood pressure machine. The pressure was suddenly released as the rest of the family came around from both sides of the house. Alice's gasp of '_blood'_ brought everyone to a stop.

The coppery scent of blood filled Bella's nose as she felt the warm liquid begin to pump down her arm. Five vampires stopped breathing.

"Well, this isn't ending up the way I wanted it to," Victoria mumbled. She assessed the situation and did the only thing that seemed to give her a chance at escape. Grasping Bella by the waist she threw her bleeding form towards the weakest link in the Cullen family and then she sprinted toward the somewhat wider gap between Edward and Rosalie.

That was the last mistake she would ever make.

* * *

Chapter Nine Preview:

**A harrumph came from the window and a feeling of anger filled Bella's chest. She had been so happy to see him, to remember the love she had for him, but it seemed that he didn't feel the same.**


	9. Chapter 9 Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

**~Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda~**

"How does it feel now, Bella?" Carlisle asked as he put the last bit of tape on the gauze around Bella's arm. It had taken twenty-two stitches to close the gash that Victoria had rent in her flesh.

"It's better, Carlisle, thank you." She stiffly slid off the counter where Carlisle had sat her to sew her arm up. He helped her to get stable before stepping back to wash his hands.

"You're going to have bruises where Jasper caught you, you know. You should take a Jacuzzi bath in mine and Esme's room later. I have some Epsom salts that you can add to the water. That will help somewhat. You'll just have to keep this bandage dry. I have something to help you sleep too. It will help with the pain from the wound. I'll be sure to give it to you every four hours." He dried off his hands and she waited to walk back into the living room, where the rest of the family waited for them. Bella had been calm while he worked over her, but now he could hear her heart rate begin to spike. Slipping his arm around her shoulders he whispered quietly in her ear, "Remember those new facts you found out. Hold onto that."

With a nod, Bella allowed him to lead her into the brightly lit room. Edward was standing at the floor length window, looking out. She let her eyes travel across his shoulders briefly. He had changed into clean clothes. Jasper came to greet her and she wrapped her good arm around his waist. "I can't thank you enough for catching me, Jasper."

"Of course I had to catch you. Alice would never have forgiven me if I'd let her BFF crash to the ground." Holding her close, he led her to the loveseat where Alice was sitting. She moved over and Bella sat carefully down beside her. She was beginning to get stiff.

"Here, let me put my hand on your waist…the coolness is almost as good as an ice bag." Bella chuckled quietly and allowed Alice's hand to rest against the hand shaped bruise that was coloring quite nicely.

"Okay, we're all here. Now tell me what happened after I passed out after Jasper caught me. I really wish I could get past that blood thing." She glanced again at Edward's back. He hadn't moved except to square his shoulders when she walked into the room.

Emmett leaped to his feet, anxious to fill her in on the fight. "Well, we came around the corner and didn't really need the Pixie's warning of blood. We could all smell it on the air. Eddie there is right; your blood does smell good." A low growl came from the direction of the window and Emmett smiled at Bella, winking.

"Victoria thought that by making you bleed and throwing you toward Jasper that a feeding frenzy would break out. She was wrong." Emmett walked to Jasper and pounded him on the back. "This guy caught you as gently as he could, handed you off to Rosalie who put her hand on the gash to stop the bleeding and beat feet back here to the house so that Carlisle could fix you up."

Bella stopped his recitation to smile thankfully at Rosalie, who grinned back at her. "Hey, I've finally got you _trained, _just like she said; you don't talk when I'm working on the cars."

Shaking her head at Rose's comment, she asked, "What happened to Victoria? Has she moved on? Do I still need to worry about her coming back?" Bella's anxiety levels caused Jasper to send her some calming waves while he motioned for Emmett to get on with it.

"It was great, Bella! You should have seen Eddie boy…he and Victoria were practically dancing back and forth while the rest of us circled around so that she couldn't get away. She really wanted to follow you and Rosie, but she couldn't get around us. Edward kept taunting her with the stuff that Alice had told her. She finally couldn't stand it anymore and leaped at him. He had her pinned in a nanosecond and when I was going to rip her head off, Alice stopped me." He waved at Alice and she took the story up after wrapping her arm around Bella's shoulders.

"It only seemed right to me that I should be the one to end her. You're my best friend and she hurt you. She never would have given up and she would have hurt Charlie too. That was one decision that she had made and I saw it. I ended her and Emmett got the fire going." Turning to look into Bella's eyes, she finished, "She'll never hurt you again. You're safe now."

A harrumph came from the window and a feeling of anger filled Bella's chest. She had been so happy to see him, to remember the love she had for him, but it seemed that he didn't feel the same.

"Do you have something to add to this discussion, Edward?" Bella asked. Everyone in the room could hear the anger in her tone.

Never one to leave well enough alone, Emmett offered, "Want me to get that baseball bat, Bella?"

Esme shushed him as she moved to stand next to her bronze haired son. "What did I say about hitting, Emmett?" He was cowed by her look and Jasper felt satisfaction coming from Edward at Esme's rebuke. That satisfaction was knocked aside by shock when Esme's hand snapped up and smacked Edward on the back of his head. The sound reverberated through the room.

"Well, Mom, you said you'd smack him yourself and then hug him." Emmett was laughing as Edward turned to look down in shocked dismay at the woman beside him. Her arms came around his waist and after a moment he hugged her back. His eyes finally rested on Bella where she sat glaring at him.

Getting slowly to her feet, she approached mother and son. Esme kissed him on his cheek as she left him to his fate. "Just remember, you brought this on yourself," were her quiet words.

Looking like a deer caught in headlights, Edward watched his mate approach. There was no doubt in his mind that she was his mate. The strength of the pull that he had felt the closer he got to Forks told him that. Bella's eyes were blazing when she finally stopped inches away from him. A small part of his brain told him that she had never looked more beautiful. Another section was very aware of the fact that she was angrier than he had ever imagined that she could be. The exquisite burn in his throat was welcome; it meant that she was close enough to touch. He wanted to touch her, to hold her and to never let her go. But surely he had lost that right when he had lied to her all those months ago.

Trying to hide from the look in her eyes, Edward's gaze darted around the room. His roving attention was caught when he spotted a photo in a silver frame set prominently at the front of the mantle. He could see the crease where it had been folded in half, where Bella had hidden the half with herself in the scrapbook. It was the same picture he had placed under her floorboards on the night he left.

The night he had told the woman who would always hold his heart that he didn't want her.

Following his line of sight, Bella glanced at the photo. Taking a deep breath she took a step back from him. His scent was making her head spin and she needed to keep her wits about her. She was angry and she needed answers to her questions. Her traitorous heart was telling her to just fling herself into his arms and to just rest there, forever.

"Edward, I've learned some things in the last couple of days that have changed things that I thought were facts. Carlisle told me about the Pack, that there are werewolves in addition to vampires. That my dad's best friend could have been one himself! That his son is a werewolf." Bella spun away from him and walked over to the mantle. She picked up the frame and smiled down at the happy couple in the photo.

"The fact that you left these things in my room made me rethink what you told me that night. Your family has been helping me to ferret out the truth. They've told me what they think the truth is; the truth about vampires and their mates. The truth about how you might really feel." Her anger had subsided into sadness and tears were in her eyes as she looked at him from across the room.

"Edward, did you lie to me when you left?"

Many answers ran through Edward's mind. He could continue to lie to her, although Jasper was already thinking that it was too late for that. Jasper could feel how much he loved her, just like he had when he left, and he was thinking that Edward should just give in to the feeling.

Everyone was thinking the same thing. They knew he loved her and they were all telling him, and showing him through their memories, how much Bella loved him. He gasped at the depth of the agony he saw on her face in their memories. He felt their fear when she had almost faded away.

Rosalie was still calling him an idiot, nothing new there and he suddenly smiled at her.

"Rose is right…I am an idiot." Bella put the photo down and waited while he walked slowly toward her. "I should never have said those things, they were all outrageous lies. Can you forgive me, Bella? Can you let me try and make it up to you? I'll try until the end of forever if you'll just let me."

Bella's heart was thrumming, like it wanted to take flight from her chest. She took in another deep breath, tasting his scent as it surrounded her in comfort. "Edward, has anything really changed? Instead of making a decision unilaterally, you _should_ have talked to me about your fears and concerns. We _could_ have worked things through together. Then we _wouldn't_ have been apart, and in pain, these last several months."

Lifting her hand to cup his jaw, Bella touched him for the first time in what felt like forever. Edward closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her touch. "Edward, can I trust you to not make decisions without me again? Can I trust you to be my equal? Yes, I get that I'm a human, but that doesn't make me any less than you."

As her hand slipped from his face, Edward felt the pang of separation and loss. It was just a whisper of what he had been through since September. Just a hint of what he had put her through. He could see that from the memories they were still bombarding him with. He had been wrong, on so many levels; he really did know that now. Squaring his shoulders Edward looked down into the face of his beloved, his mate, and he made a decision.

Alice tried to keep her squeal low when she saw the future begin to play out in her mind. Jasper clamped a hand over her mouth before the cry could get loose. Bella glanced at them and smiled weakly before focusing back on Edward.

Edward cupped Bella's face with his hands, gently wiping away the tears that had spilled over during their conversation. "Bella, I truly am sorry that I took away your choice in this matter, your prerogative in helping to make decisions that should have been made by both of us. I was wrong. Please let me make it up to you. Will you give me a second chance?"

Looking up into Edward's golden eyes, Bella felt like the hole that had lived inside her for so long was finally closing up. She knew it wouldn't be an overnight thing, that he couldn't just say he was sorry and it would wipe away the pain of the past several months. She would have to learn to trust him again and she didn't know how long that would take.

Even knowing that the hurt was still there, she also knew that she could never walk away from him of her own free will. He had thought that by walking away it meant that he loved her the most. She knew that staying together and working on their problems would be hard, but it would also prove their love. Relationships were a lot of work, but looking up into his face and feeling in her heart how much she loved him, it would be worth it.

"Yes, Edward, I will give you a second chance." Edward smiled, his eyes glowing in relief, as he leaned down to press his lips to hers, but a small hand on his chest stopped him. "Heed my words, Edward, if you ever do anything like this again, I will let Emmett hold you while I work you over with a baseball bat. Do you hear me?"

Rapidly nodding his head in total agreement while the family laughed in relief around them, Edward finally pressed his lips to hers. The women all sighed with joy at the sight.

Jasper was nearly a boneless pile of mush on the loveseat next to Alice from the feelings of happiness and satisfaction that was radiating off of the two of them. He groaned, but instead of rebuking them, he decided to bask in the feeling.

He figured that with these two, both strong willed and stubborn, there would be harder emotions down the road. For now, he would take pleasure in the bliss they were feeling. In the mood to share, Jasper flooded the room with the feelings and took in the smiles that were rampant from his family.

Their lives together seemed to end with a paper cut, but it looked like they were now on the right track. Slipping his arm around his wife, who had finally stopped squealing, Jasper decided that forever never looked brighter.

The End

* * *

**Thank you, everyone who participated in the Nashville Relief Fund, either by donating to the Fund or by writing something for us. You are all such a blessing!**

I hope you all liked the direction that I took this story...I really hated that they ALL left, I just couldn't believe that ALICE would leave her BFF without a word. I didn't think it would keep Bella from being totally depressed to have the family close, but I did think it would have helped. Also, by having Jasper really get to know her, to acclimate to her, things like papercuts wouldn't be such a danger.

Thank you all so very much for the reviews (which I still can't answer until I get back to my own computer), the alerts and the favorites. I've got 512 emails right now! Thank you for coming along on for the ride...

Dang...the reason I can't begin to answer reviews yet is because I missed my flight in Portland...road construction and then a three car pileup caused me to be delayed...the bad news is that it would have cost me a whopping $800+ to get another flight into OKC...the good news is that I'm now driving home with my family. Of course that's three days across the boring part of the USA...at least I have time to work on the GUARDING EDWARD outtake that I was commissioned to write by Team Guarding Kat for the Fandom Gives Back Auction...it's coming along well...if you are iinterested in reading that, make sure you have me as an Author Alert...

Again, thanks so much for all of your support!

Kathie


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